What Men and Women Think About

Woman’s Thoughts

8:30 a.m.

  • Oh, look! A spider is spinning a web just outside the window!
  • This is so cool.
  • The silk come out of her bum!
  • I wonder if it hurts?
  • She sure is accurate. I wonder how she does that?
  • She’s not even looking at what she’s doing.
  • Instinct is amazing.
  • Thinking about human instinct, we are rewarded by pleasure when we do instinctual things like having sex or breastfeeding. I wonder if the spider is experiencing pleasure as she spins her web?
  • Or pride?
  • Or doesn’t she have the brain capacity for pride?
  •  At what point along the evolutionary path does emotion come into play? Cats and dogs feel emotions, we can see them showing shame, anger, jealousy, affection.
  • There’s that gorilla with his kitten. Emotion there, alright.
  • I wonder if elephants feel?
  • Do you suppose male elephants are proud of being hung like an elephant?
  • If the silk comes out of her bottom, how do spiders poop? Hmmm.
  • Do spiders pee?
  • Oh, I’m hungry!
  • What will I have for breakfast? Cereal or eggs?
  • I wonder which has more POINTS?
  • Cereal has fibre which is good, but eggs have protein. Hmm.
  • I wish we had some OJ. I forgot to buy it yesterday.
  • Remember when we had that delicious orange juice in Florida that was fresh squeezed?
  • I wish I had some fresh squeezed orange juice.
  • Maybe I should tweet about that spider making its web?
  • Fresh squeezed orange juice would look so pretty on the table with my new yellow dishes.
  • That was such a great sale. I love those dishes.
  • But did I buy enough. I only bought a service for 6.
  • Maybe I should go buy two more settings.
  • But they aren’t on sale anymore. Hmmm.
  • Eggs, definitely. They’d go better with the color scheme of the table.
  • Well, unless we put cream in our coffee and then it would work better with cereal.
  • Oh, look! The spider caught a fly. Good for you, Charlotte dear.
  • See? Hard work and planning pays off. I should remember to mention that to the grandkids.
  • Looks like its going to be a beautiful day.
  • If we win the prize home lottery where would I hang my pictures?
  • Maybe I should go through the house and make a list of everything we own and decide where I’d put if we won the house?
  • I should put orange juice on the grocery list.
  • Maybe I’ll take a walk later and get some oranges to squeeze for breakfast tomorrow.
  • Or buy those dishes.
  • I wonder if they still have them in stock? Hmm.
  • No, then I’d have to carry them back home.
  • I’d definitely hang that picture in the guest bathroom.
  • The Lotto House is a very, very, very fine house…hum tum-tum…

Man’s Thoughts

8:30 a.m.

  • My balls itch.
  • I have to pee.
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